I woke up with the realisation this morning that the sense of anxiety I am feeling is not just to do with my life turning upside down, it is to do with my need to have everything sorted immediately.
You know that feeling you get when you start a job and the day dream turns to the promotion or company car when in reality you have only just set foot in the door. Or when you book your holiday and you are already running through scenarios in your head of what each place will feel or smell like and how you will be happy then.
I know I need to let go and all will turn out ok. I also know I need to be kinder to myself and let myself mourn the loss of previous hopes and dreams whilst making baby steps towards my new life. But it is hard, I want to be loved, have my own home, be running a successful business, all whilst being an amazing Mum. What my ego doesn’t want to accept is that this will take time.
I am a very feet first sort of gal, to the point where I rush head long into situation and only realise how miserable I am after it is impossible to back pedal. But this morning I awoke knowing that this time I have been given an amazing opportunity. I have been given a roof over my head, food in my belly and the love of my amazing family so that I can this time look and see what I really want and really need. I have the time to build my business, look for a little extra part time work in a field I love and take the time to gentle build up friendship and love with new people in my life.
SO today I will take baby steps as the gorgeous Heather Bestel advised in her video blog this week. I will set up my business systems, call my inspirational coach, Jo, and start creating slowly a new fantastic life.
Time to slow down, breathe and let go.
Murphy Lou Dairyfree 